Day 16 of 21 Days of Prayer | & 2 weeks without grandpa

 21 days of prayer | praying in the new year & traveling through loss

Day 16 of 21 Days of Prayer 

| 28 December 2023

Hello friends! It’s only five more days until the end of this challenge. It’s only four more days until the new year. Isn’t that wild? Time has fled past us. I don’t know what I’m going to do after this. I’ve loved getting to write here and pray and process over the last few days especially since what has happened in my personal life with the passing of my Grandpa—one of my favorite people in the whole world and one of the closest people and most steady relationships I’ve ever had. For eighteen years he has been in my life—steady, consistent, loving, encouraging, caring, steadfast. Now he isn’t. 

It’s been good for me to process over here. I almost want to continue in this challenge and check ups even after the 21 days leave us. I don’t know if I will but I’m considering it. 

Today is another big day.

It’s been two weeks since his death. 

Two. 

Weeks. 

It doesn’t feel real how long it’s been. Time was moving in eons that first week. Then this last has fled by in a blink of an eye. Two weeks. That’s so long. So long to be without. The longest we have not talked to him. The longest we have not seen him. The longest we have not checked in. The longest we have not messaged a short hello or I love you. Two weeks. It’s so long. So final. So…sad. Time keeps moving. You wish it would stop but time keeps moving. It keeps going on and on. The longer it goes on…the farther away from Grandpa we feel we’ve become. We will just keep traveling farther and farther and leaving him farther behind. 

• Grandpa passing: https://fablerosemc.blogspot.com/2023/12/with-father-grandpas-passing.html

I’m aware that’s not how things truly work. It’s not like we are leaving him in December 14th for all eternity. No. He is with the Father now. He is safe and happy and with our lord and savior. I don’t think there is anywhere else he would rather be. Still…everything felt to end and change completely on that day. The last he was alive. The last he took a breath. The last he hugged his son. The last he waved goodbye. The last he gave. The last before he was gone. We keep traveling further and further away from that day. I know logically we aren’t leaving him there but it sort of feels like we are at the same time.

How can time keep moving on when you are gone? How can we make it without you? How can we keep going on? Will we never stop hurting? Will there always be a hole in our chests without you? 

I don’t know the answers. Only that time keeps going and that God is our strength. I can’t do this alone. With God I can make it through another day. I feel like that one verse has new meaning for me. 

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” 

—Matthew 6:34 

Each day God gives us just what we need. He gives us the strength and peace we need for that day. Sometimes I can get so caught up in the what ifs. I can get caught up thinking about the next day, in a few weeks, in a few months, in a few years that I can get so stressed out that it’s hard to be or think. But if we focus more on the now, not worrying too hard of things we cannot control or even know, then we aren’t filled so much anxiety and stress. Today has enough of its own worries and troubles. God gives us the strength to get through the day, day by day. He gives us just as much as we need—even more than we need. We needn’t worry so hard. 

There are troubles and there are hardships but God is our strength. We have all we need in Him. 

Trust and rely on Him. Trust in Him and His strength and steadfast love. Do not lose heart. God is with you. 

Verses

3But when I am afraid,

I will put my trust in you.

4I praise God for what he has promised.

I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?

What can mere mortals do to me?

—Psalm 56:3-4

8You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each one in your book.

9My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help.

This I know: God is on my side!

10I praise God for what he has promised;

yes, I praise the Lord for what he has promised.

11I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?

What can mere mortals do to me?

12I will fulfill my vows to you, O God,

and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help.

13For you have rescued me from death;

you have kept my feet from slipping.

So now I can walk in your presence, O God,

in your life-giving light.

—Psalm 56:8-13

1Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy!

I look to you for protection.

I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings

until the danger passes by.

2I cry out to God Most High,

to God who will fulfill his purpose for me.

3He will send help from heaven to rescue me,

disgracing those who hound me. 

My God will send forth his unfailing love and faithfulness.

—Psalm 57:1-3

What I read today…

• Psalm 57
• Psalm 57
• John 10 

Previous days: 

• 21 Days Of Prayer 
• Day one | praying for specifics and to be a light for God
• Day two | praying for my future husband  
• Day three | processing…
• Day four | check ins and journal entries 
• Day five | seeing God in EVERYTHING + the crashing waves of grief
• Day six | feeling SEEN in the Psalms
• Day seven | Feelings muddled under the surface of my skin
• Day eight | rejoice always 
• Day nine | I feel like a little girl. I feel lost. Surrounded by rubble. 
• Day ten | God connects stories
• Day eleven | talking about what’s been happening…Grandpa passing
• Day twelve | Christmas Eve 
• Day thirteen | Christmas Day
• Day fourteen | day after Christmas & dealing with pain
• Day fifteen | in my darkest days — memories with grandpa

God bless us, every one 

If you think to pray for me and my family I will be forever grateful! If you have a prayer request or need please comment and let me know! 

Goodnight! <3 

Love, 

Moriyah