21 days of prayer | praying in the new year 

Day 4 of 21 Days of Prayer

| 16 December 2023

This morning I woke up with tears trailing down my cheeks onto my pillow. 

At first—for a split second—I didn’t know why I was crying. Then I remembered. 

I just feel sad. Sad but then again I feel peace. You can feel peace even with a broken heart. 

I had this vision yesterday, this picture in my mind that has given me peace and I think it helped my family some. Soon I want to share that here so I can remember it—what I saw—but I think I still need a little more time. 

It’s only the second day.  

***

I prayed today (and yesterday) and felt peace. I read more Bible today. I needed more time in the word today. It’s only 9:20 in the morning as I’m writing this down so I will probably read more today. 

I read Isaiah 56. 

Then Philippians 1. There is a verse there that is giving me peace. 

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.  If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.” 

—Philippians 1:21–23 

Then John 1. I chose John chapter 1 because…well…it’s important because of yesterday. I needed to read that today. It gave me peace. It…confirmed that picture in my head I was talking about earlier. 

I love the Bible. I love that I can find peace and comfort in the pages no matter what walk of life I am in. I am thankful in its pages I can find answers. I needed this. 

Truly, I’m just processing now. 

I wanted to stop and go dark. I know I can’t do that again. The last time I went dark it took me years to get out of it. I can’t go dark again. I need to stay present in the light. I need to f e e l. I need to let myself cry. I need to feel whatever I need to feel. I need to process. I need to…live. 

So now, I’m using this blog and this challenge to keep me present and to keep me from going dark. It’s maybe not the most encouraging challenge now—I don’t know, maybe it will be. I will keep coming here each day—I hope—and write these little check ins. 

Later | 1:35 pm 

Yesterday, while out driving in the forest, the pines stretching tall to the sky and dark green, the oaks and maples bare with a tangle of black branches twisting this way and that over the turning roads like long fingers or claws grasping for something unseen with pale green and yellow bluish moss hanging to the bark, I had this thought. 

“At least the trees know how to mourn.” 

I don’t know why I had this thought. Or why it stuck. But somehow it’s comforting. Seeing your loss reflected in another. Seeing nature pause and mourn with you. Like God sees your pain and for a moment lets you see it through His creation. Now you know you aren’t alone. That’s comforting. 

*Also, this challenge is just basically my online diary at this point (;

Previous days: 

• 21 Days Of Prayer 
• Day one | praying for specifics and to be a light for God
• Day two | praying for my future husband  
• Day three | processing…

God bless us, every one 

If you think to pray for me and my family I will be forever grateful! If you have a prayer request or need please comment and let me know! 

Goodnight <3 

Love, 

Moriyah