21 days of prayer | praying in the new years & dealing with loss
Day 7 of 21 Days of Prayer
| 19 December 2023
It’s a new day. New challenges. New posts. New prayers. New day.
Fog settles over the landscape, blurring the tall pines in a scene like from a drama or thriller. Rain falls down from the sky, hitting the ground in drip drops. The sky is gray and dark. At 8:59am it’s like late evening, the sky so dark. Candles flicker. Lights from neighbors Christmas decorations shine through the dark. Lights must be on to see. You need to read by light. A cold rainy winters day.
I don’t know what I feel right now. I feel tired and drained. Maybe a little numb. Just…there. Nothing big. Feelings muddled under the surface of my skin.
I know waves of feelings will pass through me today as the have the last five days. Five days. That’s how long I’ve known. How long it’s been. How long my life has been altered and split. It feels like yesterday and eons ago and like I just heard.
In my head, I keep thinking of the lyrics from the song Ghost by Noah Cyrus:
“ I'm no good at hiding underneath a sea of tears
Flood pouring through my eyes
I can't even close 'em, I can't even see you clear”
Of Prayers & Verses
Today, my prayers were mostly that of thankfulness. Thankfulness for God in my life. Thankfulness for His plans. Thankfulness for the last few years. Thankfulness for friends I can talk to and who understand. Thankfulness for my family.
I prayed for other things too. For God’s peace to be fully upon our hearts. For His comfort. For His direction on what’s next. For Him to lead us to getting all we need to find and prepare for what’s coming.
I love that I can go to God with everything. My hopes, fears, dreams, struggles, thankfulness, pain & heartache and whatever I need. He listens. He is a good father.
What I read:
Verses that encouraged me:
The LORD knows the days of the blameless,
and their heritage will remain forever;
— Psalm 37:18
The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
when he delights in his way;
though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the LORD upholds his hand.
—Psalm 37:23-24
The law of his God is in his heart;
his steps do not slip.
—Psalm 37:31
Wait for the LORD and keep his way,
and he will exalt you to inherit the land;
you will look on when the wicked are cut off.
—Psalm 37:34
Mark the blameless and behold the upright,
for there is a future for the man of peace.
—Psalm 37:37
The salvation of the righteous is from the LORD;
he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.
The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.
—Psalm 37:39-40
Later…10:07pm
| 19 December 2023
Earlier today my grandma came. It was good. We got to all hug and talk for some hours. When she came she brought some fruit—grapes and strawberries. It was so so thoughtful of her. Yet at the same time…it hurt so much. My family and I all burst into tears. I wasn’t expecting grapes to be what I cry over. I didn’t realize just how much they remind me and how much they matter. I don’t think any of us were expecting to have that reaction. But isn’t that grief? The smallest things can trigger you.
One thing I thought was sweet and important was that she brought us all journals. Journals to write down memories and thoughts and feelings. A place to write down all we wish not to forget. I don’t want to ever forget. That was kind of her. That is something I would have wished I could have thought of and she gave us that gift. I’m so thankful!
Todays has been…quiet. Sad and thoughtful and grateful and quiet. We found out things today. I think I might have found a clue.
Thats a praise I have. I thank God for His leading and direction in my life. I have seen Him move and direct my steps SO C L E A R L Y these last few days. He has lead me and guided my steps to so many important finds and details these last few days. I’m so so so grateful! He could have lead someone else but He lead me. I will forever be grateful for that and treasure that!
Thank you Father, for leading me!
God bless us, every one
If you think to pray for me and my family I will be forever grateful! If you have a prayer request or need please comment and let me know!
Goodnight <3
Love,
Moriyah
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