Backstory: How Your Past Affects Your Present

 My Faith | My Story | Character Creation Series

Hello, my friend!

Let's talk about backstory. Specifically YOUR BACKSTORY. 

What is your backstory? Your backstory is your past. It is your whole life up until this moment. It is your life. It is how you became you today. The reason you are you at this moment. 

Okay, so why am I talking about backstory? Because it is important and it matters in understanding who you are today. 

Let’s switch to talking about something in writing that is key to this topic of understanding your backstory. 

1. Character Development 

Character development in books is based on real-life human development (maturity & growing up). Basically, it is the journey of how you became you today. 

Character development is the overarching journey a character takes to get from point A to point B. Getting from one place and through the journey of the book turns into someone better or worse based on their actions and beliefs. 

To have character development there needs to be four key ingredients as talked about two posts ago). 

1. Misbelief (the thing they believe about the world and themselves that is false. This makes a foundation for the goal they want and the fear keeping them from said goal. It is the internal behavior happening beneath the surface). 

2. Behavior (the external behavior that is happening on the surface).

3. Desire (their goal)

4. Fear (what is keeping them from their goal) 

Pretty straightforward right? 

Our belief (& misbelief) is the foundation of the other three keys. Our every decision (behavior) we base on our misbeliefs. Our desire is what our misbelief tells us we need. Our fear is based on the misbelief that tells us what we desire. 

How does this look in our lives and why does it matter? It matters because it is us. These things are driving us and we need to break free of this unhealthy cycle. I’m not saying this is the same for everyone but it is a stepping point. By thinking through these steps we can find out what lies we may be believing. It can help us find a problem in our lives that needs fixing. 

By understanding this cycle we can find a way to break free and live the life we were made to live. The above list is an unhealthy life cycle. This is the beginning of a character before their transformation. This is being in bondage. 

A HEALTHY LIFE CYCLE AS A CHRISTIAN, one of FREEDOM, is:

1. Belief (the thing we believe in about God that determines how we act and what we believe about the world and ourselves). 

2. Behavior (aka. The actions we do show what we believe (the surface)).

3. Desire (living for God and doing what he wants us to do)

4. Faith (The actions we take to listen and act on God’s word). 

2. Backstory 

Backstory is where the misbelief is born. In other words our past shapes and makes us into who we are. Events, circumstances, good things, and bad things, will all affect us in our present day. Our past is the lens we see the world through. 

Our past can negatively or positively affect us presently. If you have the fear of public speaking chances are that sometime in your past you tried to speak in front of people and either you got embarrassed or no one listened. This experience then went on to give you a fear of speaking because it was a bad experience. That bad experience became a lens you see the world through. It became a fear. 

In the first part, we found a problem or lie in our lives. In this part, we are finding out HOW that came to be. We are looking and searching for the moment or event that leads to us believing or thinking something that isn’t true. 

Don’t worry, I’ll clear this up in a moment. 

3. In Real Life 

How does this apply to you and me? The same concepts apply to us. The first cycle is our backstory at work with who we are now if we have not yet found freedom from the first cycle. 

Our goals in life and the fears that keep us back and make us doubt and second guess ourselves are all based on our misbelief that was born in our past. 

Our misbelief stems from a singular (or multiple) moment in our past that made us believe something about the world or ourselves that is not true but we came to believe as the truth. 

Can you see how this works in action? How our misbeliefs can lead to our desires and fears? Do you see how it can all steam from our backstory, our past? This is what I am trying to get across. The things that happened in our past affect us positively or negatively into who we are today. 

3. Here is An Example From My Life 

One of my Misbeliefs has been that: Relationships are fragile and break easily. They all come to an end. 

The Fear: I’m afraid to get into a relationship because I know it will fail and break and I will break. 

The Desire: To be in a relationship. 

Misbelief fuels the fear and the fear keeps me from my desire. 

What is the trigger? The events that lead to my misbelief? 

When I was younger my family moved a lot from church to church looking for a job. Every place I went I would make friends but soon after we would leave (because of circumstances) and I would never see them again. All my friends I lost. Every single time. It HURT. Slowly I became more and more closed off from people. I pulled back. I became afraid, terrified of making any close connections because I KNEW that the relationship would end. By the time I was 12 I had no friends but my family. And I was okay. Not really, but that was what I told myself. 

Then I started praying. I knew not having a connection wasn’t healthy for me. Being connected is human. So I started praying but I didn’t know what would happen. 

Then one December day I got a LETTER. A letter from a girl who is now my Best and closest Friend outside of my family. My prayer was answered! I was/am so thankful! Now we have been friends for almost four years! I admit there was a time when I was still afraid about our friendship. Would it last or fail like every friendship I have ever had? I am happy to say it has lasted! 

I don’t know what the future holds. I still get nervous with relationships but I’m getting better. I know God is with me. I know relationships can still fail but I also know that there are a few who will last! Really all I need is a few that last. I don’t need a hundred friends, I just want real connections that last. I think those are the best kinds of friends. The ones who go with you through hard times and pain (how me and my BFF connected), who stick with you, who celebrate with you, and cry with you. 

Now I want to challenge you the same way I am challenging myself. 

4. The Challenge 

Here is the challenge. I’m challenging you to find out the lie you are believing/holding on to, and your desire in life (these can be good things like being a mother, taking care of yourself, singing, etc., just know where it is coming from), your fear, and backstory (what triggered this in your life). 

Ask yourself: 

What lies have you believed about yourself and the world? 

What are you holding on to that is holding you back? 

What are you second-guessing about yourself or your abilities? 

Why? Why do you believe/hold on to these things? 

Try and remember. What was the event(s) that led to you believing this? Can you pinpoint the moment(s) that lead to this? 

I challenge you to release that. I challenge you to release those memories. I challenge you to forgive that moment in your life (whether it is yourself, someone else, or just that memory). Whatever it is, I want you to forgive it. 

I want to see you live your life to the fullest. I want you to chase after the dreams God has put on your heart, freed from all fears and the misbeliefs you have believed. 

Speak the truth over yourself. Speak God’s word into your life and heart. Get rid of the lies you have believed. I’m not saying it will be easy. Far from it. But I know you will feel so much better when you do. 

My greatest advice to you is to PRAY. 

Pray about it. Give it to God. He will take it away. 

The key to this working is YOU. You have to want to get rid of the lies and fears holding you back. You have to need to get rid of them. Only then when you truly want it gone, will God take you on a journey (like a book) and take away the lies and fears bonding you. 

But you have to WANT Him to take them away. No doubts. No staying in your comfort zone. He wants to help you. He loves you. You just have to let Him. He will be your greatest partner. 

Recommended Reads  

From the blog 

• The 4 keys to creating powerful addictive characters who feel real! Where I talk about misbelief, behavior, desire, and fear in detail. 

• Happy Mother’s Day (my most popular post ever)  

Outside the blog 

• All Things Lovely book by Jenn Johnson

• His Strength In My Weakness By Abigail Aviva (MY MOM!!) 

• My Testimony  By Abigail Aviva (My MOM!!!) 

• Live Fearless Book  by Sadie Robertson Huff 

Question Time! 

I hope you liked this post about understanding you and your past to better understand yours now! (Wow that was a mouthful!) These are all things I have been learning and working on in my own life. I truly hope that this post can help you. 

I want you to find freedom in your life to go after and MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! 

I want to hear from you! Comment below and tell me if you have taken the Challenge! Did you learn anything about yourself? I would love to chat! 

Be sure to subscribe to this blog to stay in the know because I post new content here every week (Fable Rose Fridays). 

XOXO Moriyah 💛