Choosing to trust in God even if…and putting Him first (my struggle with vision issues and my writing journey) + I did an interview on CanvasRebel

 

Choosing to trust in God even if…and putting Him first (my struggle with vision issues and my writing journey) 

I did an interview on CanvasRebel   

Hi sweet friend! 

I got to do an interview with CanvasRebel! It was so fun getting to do this interview and get to share my story and journey with writing! 

Thank you so much to my wonderful friend, Shira, for recommending me to them! It was such an honor! You all should totally check out the amazing interview she did with them (HERE)! 

The FULL interview you can read (HERE)! I also want to share a snippet over here with you! This is actually something I’ve never shared anywhere else! 👀 

READ THE FULL INTERVIEW 

Are you ready? 

The Snippet 

When I graduated from high school, I had a plan. I was going to write and work towards publishing. Everything was set and ready. Then blurriness started to creep into my vision. It started small and, in a matter of weeks, grew to the point where it was hard to see anything clearly. Try stretching out your arms and placing your hands out like they are touching a wall. That is the extent of things I could see clearly. Everything past that became blurry. People became like blurry blobs of color moving around me. It was terrifying. For a time I wondered if I was dying—a doctor wondered if I had a tumor, but thankfully that wasn’t the problem. Scary still, with how fast the blurriness was taking over my vision, I feared I would become blind. What would life be like without the ability to see? How could I manage? What would happen to my writing? If I couldn’t see, then could I ever write again? 

 

That brought me to a really low moment in my life when I had to think hard and figure out two things. First, I am a Christian. I say that I trust God and that I will follow Him no matter what. If that is true, then can I trust Him fully now, even if that means giving up my dream of writing? Can I still follow Him even if this dream is taken away? Two, I believe God made me a storyteller. I believe He has placed specific stories on my heart to write not just for myself but for His glory and His kingdom. With this, I do believe that God will make a way for me to be able to write and tell stories. Nothing is impossible, and He could heal me. 

 

So in my mind, there was a war between these two beliefs. Do I trust God even if He takes away my ability to write? Do I believe that if God has placed a call on my life, He will fulfill it? Ultimately, it came down to a question of trust. Do I trust God no matter what happens—if I become blind or I am healed—no matter the answer? For myself, I realized that writing had become an idol in my life. An idol is a thing we worship. Worship can mean a lot of things to different people. Simply put, an idol is something you will do anything for. You will give your time, thoughts, and energy to it. You place this thing (or even person) above everyone and everything else. It is the thing. Your identity. The thing that gives your life meaning and purpose. Specifically, to the Christian faith, an idol is anything you place before God. Another way to see it is it is the thing you do not give God kingship over. It is your thing. It is so important to you that you can’t let anyone else have a say over it. 

 

I didn’t realize till then that writing had become that in my life. Writing became an idol for me. Writing was everything to me. Yes, God was also my writing partner, but when it came to the moment that writing could be taken from me, I panicked. I wanted to take control. It was a part of who I was. It was my identity. I am a writer. I am a storyteller. For a time, it was above being a Christian and a Child of God. Somewhere along the way, my priorities shifted. 

 

Now I had to figure out what was more important to me. Was it God or was it writing? Was it being a Christian, or was it telling others stories? When all is said and done, could God satisfy me and Him alone? 

 

It took time, but I came to the place where I chose God. I chose to trust God no matter what would happen. I chose to trust that He does have a plan and that it will be for good even if it wasn’t what I was expecting. 

 

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” —Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV) 

 

Looking back on my life, God has been so good to me. He has met with me and changed my life. He saved me. There were years that I was struggling and felt broken beyond repair, but thought it was all God was there. I know who God is. I know what He has done in my life. I cannot deny all that He has done for me. So I will stand beside Him. 

By His mercy and great kindness in my life, he has begun to heal my vision. There is still the blurriness at times, but it is so much better than it once was. He has given me the gift of stories and storytelling and has let me continue to write. I am able to write stories—stories I know He has a plan for. These are stories I know that I couldn’t have written without having gone through this season of life. I've grown as a writer and have become better in this time of blurriness. For that, I am thankful.

That’s all! 

What do you think??? Did you like the snippet? Are you going to read the full interview? Make sure to check out Shira’s too! I’ll chat with you all soon!

Love,

Moriyah