Being handed the torch | from the bible #2 (& my author name)

From the Bible #2 

Being Handed The Torch 

| losing Grandpa & gaining clarity + my next steps 

At the beginning of last year I felt…lost.

I felt like I was lacking direction. I was trying to think of what to do next. 2023 was going to be a big year. I was going to graduate. I was going to turn eighteen. What would be next? Would I go to college? Would I go on the mission field? What would be next? I didn’t know. 

So I took a “break year” to decide on things and be with my family. 

Still, I was frustrated. I wanted to RUN forward. I wanted clarity to see and move forward with what happens next. I was frustrated that I didn't have clarity on exactly what to do next. I was frustrated that I couldn't run forward. 

Then when I was starting to feel clarity for my possible next step…vision loss. 

I started to lose my vision and everything was put on hold. 

Or so I thought. 

Now I see it all was a gift. Yes, even the vision loss was a gift. 

All of it was a gift. The vision loss. The un-clarity. The break year. All of it was a gift because it kept me here. It kept me close to my family. It kept me with my Grandpa. 

I would have hated myself if I had left. If I had the clarity I wanted at the beginning of last year I probably would have left or at least I would have been striving and planning for it. Quite possibly I would have gone to college in some other state or country or I would have been on a mission trip. Or maybe my focus would be on something completely different. The thing is, there was a good chance I would have left. 

Then I started to get clarity on what was to happen next—writing and publishing (not yet leaving but putting all my focus into something)—only to start losing my vision. I had to stop writing (which was actually a blessing for working on the Lighthouse project). I had to S T O P. I was so frustrated. 

Now I see I needed that. I needed to pause. I needed to stop. I needed to have time to be with grandpa. I needed to be with him. I needed him to see my writing begin. 

After he died…I felt something inside of me. A drive…a need…a calling to write and 

 p u b l i s h. 

I need to do this now. I have the clarity to. I have the fire in me burning to do this. To publish for Grandpa. He believed in me. He encouraged my every story. He couldn’t wait to see me publish—always asked me questions and updates on what I’m doing and looking into. He financially poured into me, funding me to be able to publish, wherever that journey took me. 

I have to do this now. 

My papa described it as being handed the torch. You stand there in a race. Waiting. Standing still. Awaiting. Then someone comes, ending their race and handing you the torch to begin yours and finish it—or hand it to another. We are all racing…in the race called life. Sometimes you can’t start until someone gives you the tools and permission to start. You may be aching to start. You may have been preparing all this time to go. But you can’t start till you have that torch in your hands. That may mean someone having to end their race for you to begin. That’s what I feel with my grandpa. 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. —Hebrews 12:1-2

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing. — 2 Timothy 4:7-8

Now I feel like I am beginning. I am starting to run my race. 

I’m going to publish…one way or the other. I am going to follow God where He leads me. I am going to trust Him. He has never led me wrong. I will trust. I will run this race. I will trust where God leads me. 

My “author name”

| using my real name & why 

I also thought it would be a good time to quickly announce my “author name”. You have no idea how hard it was to decide if I should publish under my given/maiden name or if I should have a pen name. For days and weeks I struggled with this question. 

Then my great grandfather died. He adopted my grandpa and he is how we even have our last name.

Then my grandpa died. 

What better way to honor them and who they are then for me to continue on and carry their name with me on my publishing journey? Grandpa believed in me and my writing and I think he’d like having his last name (mine too) on my books. 

So without further ado…my name I’ll be publishing under, my actual name, is Moriyah Cordova! 

QUESTION: If you are a writer and planning on publishing (or have published), will you use your given name or a pen name?