Writing Masterclass: Insta Love

 Read Time: 10-15 minutes

Writing Masterclass: Insta Love 

| the four dos and don’ts of writing insta love your readers will love |

Hello, Sweet Friend! 

Let’s talk about a famous trope in writing and stories. Insta Love (or “Love At First Sight”). 

To be honest with you, I do not like this trope. Why? Because most times I see this trope done, it is not true love. It is like or attraction at first sight. Two strangers meet and are physically attracted to each other and call it “love” the end. NO! That is not love. Love is a beautiful deep abiding thing and it is not strictly attraction (though attraction can help start it, it is not sustainable). 

The Bible describes love as…

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. —1 Corinthians 13:4-8 

So what is Insta Love exactly? Insta love is a trope in stories where two people fall in love in a very short amount of time (usually at first sight but it can also be a few days or even weeks). 

Now there are some Insta Love stories I love (my newest story Sweet Ever After has some elements of Insta Love which is why I was even thinking of this topic). But what separates those stories from ones I hate? Well, it’s because they add something to their stories. They have the characters get to know and care for each other. They actually have a relationship that comes from knowing each other (becoming friends) and then falling in love. They have their characters actually love each other and not just be physically attracted to each other. 

So, in today’s post I’m doing a Masterclass (I say that because this is going to be a longer post with story examples) on how to write realistic insta love that feels real and will have your readers LOVING your romance and not question whether it is realistic or not. 

 So here are the 4 dos and don'ts of writing insta love with case studies! 

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DON’T have your characters ONLY be physically attracted to each other and call it “love”

So often I’ve seen stories (books and movies) have this trope of “insta love” but it doesn’t feel like real love. It feels like two characters really like each other and are physically attracted to each other and nothing more. Now there is nothing wrong with being physically attracted to each other. It is when that is the ONLY REASON WHY they “love” each other and nothing else that bothers me. It gives this message of if you are attracted to someone then that is love and I DO NOT believe in that. Love is SO MUCH MORE and deeper than being physically attracted. 

A perfect example of this is Hans and Anna from Disney’s Frozen. I will be spoiler-ing what happens so if you haven’t seen this movie then proceed with CAUTION (this warning goes for all the case studies). 

Anna is a loving bubbly character who has been isolated for most of her life. She struggles with wanting to be loved and cared for, it is what she wants most in life. Her sister and best friend in the whole world one day shut Anna out of her life. With that her home was locked up and no one was allowed in. Then her parents die and she loses everyone she loves (her parents now dead and her sister still distant). In the song “For The First Time In Forever” Anna sings how she wants to be loved and find love and romance. She is desperate to be loved. 

In comes Hans. They meet and instantly you see that they like each other. He is also the first guy Anna has really ever met and the first real conversation she has had in YEARS. Of course she likes him. It's no surprise that she ‘falls in love’ with Hans and after singing “Love Is An Open Door” says yes to marrying Hans after knowing him only a few hours (not even a full day). 

This is a classic example of love at first sight. Something I love about this story is it shows that this (being attracted to each other and knowing NOTHING about each other and their character) is both dangerous and highly unrealistic. 

I love that first Elsa says you can’t marry a man you just met. Then Kristoff even asks Anna questions about Hans. He asked simple basic questions like his name and likes and Anna didn’t really know any of it. 

Hans turned out to be the villain in the end. Now this doesn’t always happen but it does show that just because you think it is love at first sight doesn’t mean it is actually love. If you don’t know their character then you may just be “liking” a villain and an awful person.  

So the first step of writing realistic insta love is this, don’t have your characters only be physically attracted to each other and call that love. That is not real love. 

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DO have your characters get to KNOW each other 

Insta love is two characters falling in love with each other in a very short amount of time whether that be a day or days or weeks. Something that is short and would be in all accounts unrealistic. As a storyteller, our job is to make what is unrealistic feel realistic. 

How do you make it realistic then? How do you write an insta love romance without it being like Hans and Anna? You make it MATTER. The characters have to matter to each other MORE than physical appearances. How do you make the characters matter to each other?? You have them get to know each other like in any relationship. Let them get to know each other and that will make thier soon falling in love feel real and natural because we saw the moment when they started to care about each other. 

One of my FAVORITE examples of this is the 2015 Cinderella movie! I have been waiting to talk about this story because I love this movie so much. This is my favorite of the live action Disney remakes and the storytelling is incredible. 

This Cinderella retelling has all the elements of the beloved classic Cinderella animated movie we grew up watching but with some very needed and wonderful changes that make the story even better than before (in my opinion). I want to do a whole study on this but for now let's focus on the first change that makes an insta love story feel real and you don’t even bat an eye at them waiting to marry each other after only knowing each other TWO DAYS. 

In the classic movie the first time Cinderella and the prince meet is at the ball while dancing and they instantly ‘fall in love’ to the song “So This Is Love”. It’s a beautiful moment…but highly unrealistic yet Disney still makes it work (I LOVE this movie so much but it is a tad unrealistic). 

What I liked MUCH better was in the 2015 Cinderella, Ella and Kit meet once before and that meeting was pivotal to both of them. They meet and have a conversation in the woods, a deeper conversation more than just “I like you”. They share bits of who they are, their past, their family, and their beliefs/world views. For the first time in a long time Ella is shown kindness and finds a friend. Kit's worldview is challenged and Ella makes him think both for himself and for his people. This small scene that takes only a few minutes is pivotal to both characters and their stories. It became more than insta love because they got to meet and get to know each other. It added a layer of realism that makes you believe they are truly falling in love in a very short amount of time.

The next time they meet they dance, yes, but then they also TALK. They prioritize each other and getting to know each other. I believe that is good for EVERY relationship but especially insta love because this will make your love story (and any love story) believable. 

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DON’T have them profess love when there is no proof of that love being real 

The first two points are my biggest points. These next two are both important and go really well together. This point is to not have your characters profess love when there is no proof of that love being real. 

This really is just the point of showing and not telling. You want to show your characters are falling in love and not just say it because it can end up having less meaning (you need both).  

At some point you will want your characters to say they love each other BUT you need to show that they love each other first = meaning action. 

My example of what not to do (and then what to do because it also shows what to do) is The Little Mermaid. I LOVE this movie but I struggle with it too but then it all works out (XD). It is part of the plot so there is a reason and it is resolved but I’ve seen this same thing happen and not be resolved so I’m speaking more to that. 

Ariel upon seeing Eric once and saving him, pronounces she loves him and will only be happy if she is with him. This causes a big fight with her dad and in turn leaves Ariel vulnerable and up to being taken advantage of by Ursula with a deal to destroy Ariel and take over the sea world. At this moment Ariel doesn’t really love Eric. She believes she does and she does really like him but true love and like are different things. Ariel at the beginning is a bit naïve and her “love” for Eric is based on looks (she says it herself upon their first meeting that, “He's so beautiful.”) and happiness. She thinks he’ll make her happy so she must be in love. This obviously backfires on her. 

What I loved was at the end Ariel does love Eric and Eric loves her. We don’t have to see them say they love each other because it has been proven in their actions at the end. 

One of my favorite scenes is when Eric says that “I lost her once. I’m not going to lose her again!” Then he jumps from the boat into the water to save Ariel. He is proving his feelings to Ariel without having to say love. He is proving it and his actions make his love true. 

So actually…you can have your characters pronounce love before they love each other if you are teaching that lesson (like The Little Mermaid did). BUT if they never show (through actions) that they love each other and it is only based on attraction then it doesn’t work because there is no reason to believe their love is true. 

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DO have them prove their love in action before in words 

We are almost to the end of this Masterclass! In the above point I talked about showing your characters love each other through action before they say they love each other. 

One of my FAVORITE examples of this is Flynn and Rapunzel from Disney’s Tangled. 

The beginning of the story they are both pretty self centered. Flynn wants his satchel back. Rapunzel needs a guide to take her to see the floating lights. Neither of them really care for each other. 

Then they start to get to know each other. They learn about each other’s dreams and wants. They find out about each other’s past and the most hidden secrets of their hearts—things they have never shared with another person. (That is already showing that they are building a relationship). 

We see them start to care and think about each other. Rapunzel hides with Flynn from guards to keep him safe. Flynn takes Rapunzel on a boat for the best view of the floating lights and gives her a floating light. Rapunzel trusts Flynn and gives him back his satchel. Flynn is changed and wants to be a better man for Rapunzel so gives the satchel to the twins…etc. 

The moment when you SEE that they really do love each other without them ever saying “love” is when they both sacrifice their lives for each other. 

Rapunzel is willing and promises to go with Mother Gothal to save Flynn’s life. Rapunzel never breaks a promise and she promises to follow everything Mother Gothal says and never be free. 

Flynn loves Rapunzel and can’t let her do that. So he cuts her hair, saving Rapunzel from her promise and killing himself* in the process. 

What says love better than willing to sacrifice your life for the person you love?** Through actions we see their love and through actions we see that it is realistic. 

*Spoiler Note: Rapunzel is able to save Flynn and they lived happily ever after. 

**Also, is it just me or even after watching Tangled like a hundred times do you still get teary eyed at the end? 

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RECAP:

Bam! Here are the FOUR dos and don'ts of writing insta love! 

To recap: 

• To make insta love feel real it MUST be more than physical attraction. It has to be deeper. 

• Let the characters get to know each other. Build an actual real relationship between the two of them. 

• Have them challenge each other and have them wanting to be a better person because of their relationship. Make the characters MATTER to each other. 

• And lastly show that they love each other and not just tell. By showing they love each other and the reasons behind it you will believe they actually love each other. 

Remember: this all comes down to storytelling in a way that feels realistic and makes your readers BELIEVE IN THE IMPOSSIBLE (adding small moments and details that make a world of difference). As storytellers really everything we write is made up and not real. Our job is to turn not real stories and words on paper into something moving, real, and believable. 

Rapunzel has magic hair that glows when she sings. Ariel is a mermaid. Anna with no climbing experience climbs a huge snow covered mountain. Cinderella is able to run away from the palace, down multiple flights of stairs, to the carriage, almost all the way to her home a long way away in A SINGLE MINUTE. Do we doubt the realness of any of these? NO! We believe each of them can happen in these stories. That is good storytelling—making readers believe in the impossible. 

We need to use that same way of making something believable and use it for insta love. Remember, it takes about the same amount of time to make an insta love romance as it does any other romance (you’ll still have a book or the same length of movie). So why is one kind of romance realistic and the other unrealistic when they both have a love story beginning and ending in about the same amount of pages? It really is about the characters knowing each other, caring about each other more than their physical looks, and showing through actions what they feel. 

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Masterclass Requests: 

If there are any other tropes or writing help you’d like me to help you with AND you like these “masterclass posts” then leave a comment down below with your request so I can write a post about it! 

It can be about any writing topic or trope (anything you’d like help with)! Is there another romance trope you’d like to know how to write (best friends to lovers, enemies/rivals to lovers, opposites attract, love triangles, etc)? A genre you’d like tips on (dystopian, fantasy (non magical or magical), contemporary, retelling, etc). Do you need help with characters (creating or a specific aspect)? Or something else like world building, pacing, description (setting and characters)? 

I really loved making this Masterclass and I know I’ll want to make more posts like these (especially while I’m writing a book now) and I’d love to get requests from YOU! 

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Discussion Time

Thank you so much for coming and reading this Masterclass! I hope you found some helpful tips on writing insta love! 

I want to hear from you! Meet me in the comments and tell me what you thought of today’s post? Have you ever written an insta love story? After reading this post would you ever want to write an insta love story? What is one of your FAVORITE insta love stories? What is one of your most HATED insta love stories? I would love to chat! 

If you have any questions or want to talk (or have a prayer request), make sure to comment down below! Be sure to subscribe to this blog to stay in the know because I post new content here every week. ALSO, If you want to hear more about my writing, make sure you are subscribed because I am doing special updates for BLOG SUBSCRIBERS ONLY! 

Love, Moriyah 💛